I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
