I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
