porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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