my sisters under your porch take her home
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
