I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize