I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I love you.
Bad choice
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
