woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
