you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
