i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize