he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
