I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
