So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
