Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize