New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
