Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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