So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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