Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm drive I can fine osifer
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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