Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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