At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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