Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
