Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
