We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need a beard to bite.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
