Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize