Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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