Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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