Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
