none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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