I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
