We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
