Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize