dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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