if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize