I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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