Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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(614): View more from Ohio

There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.

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(785): View more from Kansas

This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night

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(970): View more from Colorado

The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.

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(619): View more from California

I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?

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(512): View more from Texas

He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson

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(828): View more from North Carolina

After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer

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