Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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