words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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