Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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