Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dear god my vagina.
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