apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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