He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
