Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
