so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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