So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
