Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
