Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
