Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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