Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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