1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
