i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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