is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
