i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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