it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
