i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Text me some of your sweat
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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