I am puke
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
