matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize