just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
