You really coming over, don't trick.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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