i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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