he shaved USA in his pubs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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