you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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