dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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