Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
