yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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