Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
did you just send me my own nude
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
