Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
