You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
