i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
